Lost!
May 21st, 2008I heard a sermon yesterday on one of my favorite stories in the Bible: The Parable of the Lost Son (Luke 15:11-31). I have heard this story since I was a young child in Sunday School; it always held special meaning for me, though I wasn’t always sure why. Probably I most enjoyed the fact that the story had a happy ending in that the lost son returned to his dad and the dad was happy and held a big party to celebrate.
Yesterday when I heard the story, though, I looked at it a bit differently and I realized how much I had in common with the lost son in that story. I, too, was in a Far Country; I was born there. The Far Country of my birth was Dallas, Texas. I realized how much my Father, my Heavenly Father, who is the father in the story as Jesus told it, probably desired that I, too, come home to the place prepared for me. But, like a prodigal child, I knew nothing of God being my Heavenly Father and having a place in His heart for me. I was just interested in doing the things kids do: playing; getting into occasional mischief; and getting my way as often as I could (which wasn’t all that often!). I grew up, and as I got older, one of my favorite pastimes with my dad was reading Bible stories. I loved the ones about the Israelites and the Exodus. When that movie, The 10 Commandments came out, I was 9 years old and my dad and I (mom went with us once or twice) must have gone to see that movie 8 or 9 times. We could dialogue about each scene. That must have been around the time I became conscious of my Heavenly Father whispering in my heart: “Come home!” I didn’t understand everything, but at 12, I remember the day I took the preacher’s hand before the congregation and said I wanted to give my heart to Jesus.
Even though I was baptized (like the lost son, who never ceased being a son even though he didn’t act like it) I really didn’t always act like I belonged to the family of God. Like him, when I got “of age” I wanted to do my own thing, and I was glad finally not to have to live under the rules of my parents. I went to college and became wise (in my own eyes) and did a bit of riotous living. I didn’t hear that whisper very often any more in my heart from my Heavenly Father “come home, Brenda; this is where you belong.” I imagined He looked off in the distance for me and saw me wasting my time and my life, though at that time I didn’t have many possessions. I know now that He longed for me to come home; but I was just too busy with the wastes of time we busy ourselves with.
As an adult, I traveled to still another Far Country: New York and then to Washington, D.C. I thought I had arrived, big time. I had lots of friends and we would hang out and do whatever we wanted. Life was good, or so I thought. Maybe occasionally I would hear that faint voice, “come home, My child,” but I would pass that off to too much partying. No time for “religion;” I just wanted to LIVE it up!
Soon, like the prodigal, I began to lose in the great game of life at which I had been fairly successful, especially for a girl child who grew up in South Dallas. I thought I had arrived; I had friends; I had money (well, I had a good job); I lived in the nation’s capital. What more was there. In a few years, though, I began to feel that inner hunger, much like the hunger Jesus described in the parable. I had much, but it meant very little. I began to ask myself: is this all there is? Meanwhile, my Heavenly Father was looking at me, even though I was “a great way off.” He was telling me, “come home, Brenda.” Things began to change in dramatic ways; I made bad decisions; I joined myself to other lost people and soon we were all in the “field of swine.” We didn’t know it. Pigs don’t realize they smell bad and look bad when they are doing piggy things. We just rooted around in our field and called it “fun.” We just wanted to have a good time. In time, as my money and possessions waned, so did my friends and popularity. It was easy to get a party together when I was buying; but when I could no longer buy, I began to notice the phone rang a lot less often. I felt that inner hunger in undeniable ways. I knew I was missing something, I just didn’t know what.
When I had done as much damage as I could in that Far Country (Washington D.C.), I returned to the Far Country of my birth. I needed some real change so I thought, in my misguided way, that changing addresses and scenery would be just the thing. I found a “field of swine” in Dallas, too and resumed doing piggy things. My mom prayed for me all the time. She would ask me to go to church with her. “No way,” I would tell her; not bothering to explain that I was just too hungover from the previous night’s partying.
Soon, I couldn’t help but notice a “famine in the land” of my heart. I began to notice my mother and how she started everyday with reading her Bible and praying. She had a prayer partner, Ms. Cook, who called her every day in the early morning, at noon, and in the evening, and they prayed. She seemed to radiate a peace and serenity that I could not help but notice, while I just stewed and ranted in my own distaste for everything my life afforded. I didn’t hear my Heavenly Father in those tough times, but as much as my mom prayed for me, I know He was watching me from a far off.
Finally, I got tired of eating and living in the “field of swine.” I began to feel that life has to be more than the next good time. What good is fun if you never feel peace? I wanted that peace more than anything. My mom had far less in material possessions than most people you know, but she was so rich in love, peace and joy. I realized that is what I wanted. It was then I heard my Heavenly Father say, “come home,” and I did; not a moment too soon and gladly, not too late. I remember that Sunday well; it was in July, 1984. I wept tears of joy but mostly of relief. I began to see my life as my Father saw it. What I called having a good time was sin (falling short of God’s commands); the way I would strive to get my way at all cost was trespass (going over the boundaries God set); when I would think of ways to get over and get even (that was iniquity, secret sins of the heart); and of course when I maintained my “poker face” in the face of difficulty or uncomfortable situations, well that was guile (being deceptive). When we are in the field of swine, we never use the terms that God uses to describe sin, but I confess, it was sin. It was good to be home in my Father’s house.
Now that is the wonderful part of the story: the son (in my case, daughter) returns home, and the Father is happy and life began anew. But there is another story: the Elder Brother.
I must admit, I always knew about the Elder Brothers (and Sisters). They were the ones who went to church all the time; never did anything wrong, and when they did, they got right up and testified how they made it by the grace of God. I knew some Elder Brothers and Sisters and I have to be honest, I called them hypocrites. I didn’t want to be with the hypocrites in church so I chose the comfort of the swine field. What I began to realize once I came home to my Heavenly Father is yes, some are hypocrites; but when I joined the church, the hypocrite population increased by one! There are hypocrites inside and outside the family of God. Just because we come home, we don’t immediately lose all our “piggy-ness.” It takes time to lose the small sins like pride and gossipmongering, though we can usually give up the big ones like sexual and moral impurity, though sometimes reluctantly, when we come home to God. I encountered Elder Brothers and Sisters who refused to see me as a redeemed daughter, home from the Far Country, and at home with the family of God. Some were hurtful; I walked away from a ministry I knew God called me too because I didn’t know how to deal with the Elder Brothers and Sisters.
Thank God, I have matured in Him. I realize now that we are redeemed, not perfect. God is not finished with us yet. When I find myself looking down my nose and wagging my finger of disapproval at a redeemed brother or sister who still dresses and sometimes acts like they did when they were in the swine field of life, I pray the Holy Spirit will remind me of the “rest of the story” about the lost son. God help me remember the path I traveled and how You were waiting for me with a robe of righteousness to cover my sin-stained rags and how You put shoes on my feet because servants go without shoes, sons and daughters do not. You placed on me the ring of salvation that has the image of Christ Jesus, and You let me know that when You look at me, You see Him. You made me Yours. Let me remember all of that and shout with joy everytime a new son or daughter comes home. It is no fun to be lost; it is great joy to be found, and it is unspeakable joy when you realize you have come home to the Father.
Perhaps He is calling to you. If so, today, while you hear His voice saying “come home where you belong.” Don’t put it off; receive Him as your Savior; confess to Him that you really are tired of trying it your way. He longs to place the robe of righteousness on you along with shoes of peace and His ring with the image of His Son that lets you know you are a son or daughter who is no longer lost. You are home. Forever.